Sometimes, I find my faith in humanity in tatters. At times, people carry out acts of cruelty towards others that defy all sense and logic. Tales abound these days of abuse to just about every sector of society.
This is such a tale.
There is an elderly gentleman in our corporation that goes by the name of Major MalFunction.
Major is a gentle soul, a kindly man who just wants to peacefully murder Guristas pirates in a placid and calming environment.
We often have visitors to our little pocket of null-sec, and it is a disappointment to our dear old Major that they are not there to share a cup of tea and crumpets.
We do our best to keep the PVP action at a safe distance from our older members like Major; letting them stay safely in their captains quarters, until such time as it is safe to un-dock.
Major, though, has quite a terrible time with his nerves and the constant banging and exploding outside tends to upset the poor man.
He copes with the tremendous pressure on his nervous system by hiding behind his refrigerator; it gives him a sense of extra security, his fridge does, and any time hostiles are in system, Major can be found safely behind his beloved Kelvinator.
Until today, that is.
Today, a gang of neutrals committed a crime so heinous, so barbaric, as to force me to question their humanity.
A group of neutrals entered system and proceeded to start killing stuff.
So Major was safely ensconced behind his fridge, as the missiles flew and the auto-cannons blazed outside.
Due to bad planning Major was forced to briefly reach over from behind his faithful piece of white goods to rescue his computer mouse from a boiling saucepan (a long story, I won’t bother you with it).
When he retrieved the drenched accessory, he accidentally left clicked it.
Also due to bad planning, his pointer on his screen was hovering over the un-dock button.
What followed was this:
That’s right, upon seeing this appliance launched in an unlikely manner into space with an elderly kiwi, his dressing gown flapping and his jandals half hanging off his feet whilst desperately clinging to the back of it, the hostiles decided to blow it up.
Not content with this inhumane act, they then ripped the power lead out of the station, causing damage to the power outlet in Major’s captains quarters.
I hope these individuals are happy with what they have wrought.
As you can see from its age, Major had owned this fridge a long time; so there was more than a little emotional attachment involved.
Not to forget the loss of some very expensive faction and dead-space groceries.
This has left an elderly gentleman with no refrigerator, no groceries and a hefty bill to repair a power outlet.
The corp leadership is considering what to do about this wicked act, but a petition to CCP is not out of the question.
I would ask those who carried out this Appliancecide to go and take a long hard look at themselves in the mirror; there is more to life than running around terrorizing New Eden’s elderly folk and blowing fridges up.
It’s all in the mind, you know.