So, one of our members linked Mittens latest post on how to fix null-sec on our corp forums.
For those who haven’t read it, it is definitely worth your time to read, but I don’t think it’s good reading for the same reason that others do.
I think it is an excellent expose on what is wrong at CCP.
Myopia, simple as that.
See, here’s the thing; everyone has been arguing the big ‘Eve is dying’ thing. Then everyone, his dog, his Auntie’s dog and the fencepost his Auntie’s dog last peed on jumps in with ways to fix null-sec.
Sorry, my dear horned helmet wearing non-tree huggers, but that is plain stupid.
Why? Well, when a company like CCP starts down the whole “Down-sizing”, “Re-focusing”, “Re-structuring” (insert your favourite politically correct term for shrinking income stream here) road, they need to sit down with a finance type person and get down to tin tacks.
Now, if this finance person has more than two (possibly frozen) brain cells to rub together over there in the land of copious vowel abuse, he will first want to know their current financial position.
After establishing that they are not in fact breaking the law by trading while insolvent (don’t do that, it’s very naughty), he will then probably want to know one basic thing:
“Where is the majority of your income stream sourced from and what is the projection for its growth?”
Now, let’s imagine this financial guru actually plays Eve; it’s not impossible, because I know one who does. He would not be interested in bathing in fart water though, sorry.
If he did though, once he had listened to multiple voweled hurf-blurf about how they want to fix null-sec, he would quietly tap the pie chart from Fan-Fest and say one word.
Because it is. It’s plain bollocks to even give null-sec so much as a passing glance when considering CCP’s financial well-being and their own figures prove it.
Let’s just look in on our financial guru as he chats to CCP about their situation:
So, where are the majority of your customer base? High-sec.
Right, excellent. Where do all your potential new customers start? High-sec.
Great, I can see a pattern forming already. Now, where is the biggest loss of those new customers? High-sec.
Terrific, it all seems very straightforward. So, what do you want to fix to make the game better? Null-sec.
Wait, sorry, I mustn’t have heard you properly there. Did you just say you want to fix NULL-sec? Yes.
(He’s now rubbing his forehead and wondering if these people are quite all there.)
Okay, so all new players and the vast majority of established players are in high-sec, yes? Yes.
But you want to fix null-sec? Yes.
Umm, why? Because that is what the players want.
Okay, which players exactly? The ones in null-sec.
But, they’re not important to your main income stream, are they? Yes.
Umm, why, exactly? Because they’re the ones doing all the shouting and they will leave if we don’t fix it.
Right, but your figures here show that the majority of your income is sourced in high sec. Yes.
And that your customer retention is a miserable fifty percent because of all the problems in high-sec. Yes.
I see. (He doesn’t, he’s just being polite). So, what activity are the vast majority of your customers engaged in? PVE.
What activity is the focus of the majority of your game balancing and content creation? PVP.
(He is now starting to seriously doubt his own sanity). Okay, look, I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be rude (he’d love to be violent, to be honest), but why are you focusing on PVP if PVE is what the majority of your customers are doing? Eve is a PVP game.
Okay, okay, please, I can’t help you if you insist on using that axe, please put it down. Sorry, but Eve is a PVP game.
Yes, okay, Eve is a PVP game, I get that, of course. So, is there currently a good supply of PVP in Eve? Yes, thousands of ships die in glorious battle every day.
Ah, that’s wonderful! In null sec, I presume? Some, and some in low-sec, some in wormhole space, too; but most in high-sec.
Did…did you just say most PVP occurs in high-sec? Yes. (1)
Right. But, forgive me for asking, isn’t high sec where a lot of your customers want to PVE? Yes.
Then, where does all the PVP come from? Suicide gankers, war deccers, can flippers, killing all the accursed PVE’ers.
Ahh, right, all the accursed PVE’ers, of course. They’ll be all the customers that end up leaving, would they? Yes, they go back to WoW, the pussies.
Right, right, hehe, of course. Because Eve is a PVP game, right? Yes! PVP game, Eve is a PVP game! No room for pussies!
Yes, yes, I’m sure the axe waving isn’t necessary. I assure you, I get the picture. Good, because Eve is a PVP game, okay?
Yes, my dear boy, I assure you, if there’s one thing I can take back to the board of directors, it’s that Eve is a jolly old PVP game, not a worry there, haha.
Now, just to sum up, you are having difficulties with customer retention because of all the problems with high-sec, correct? Yes.
And you are going to fix this, by making null-sec a better place, right? Yes.
As to the majority of your current and future income base, you will continue to get rid of them because they are pussies and Eve is a PVP game, correct? Yes, pussies not belong in PVP game.
Well, I’m sure I will have an entertaining time taking all this back to the board, they’re going to get a jolly good laugh out of this. We get more money?
My dear chap, as long as you are holding that axe, I am happy to assure you that I will do everything in my power to see you get what you deserve. Good, then we build second monument.
Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that, did you say, umm, a second monument? Yes, second monument, a statue of a Mackinaw, with a big axe sunk into its belly! To scare off all the pussies!
Of course, of course, what a splendid idea! That’ll… that’ll keep those umm, those pussies away, hmmm? Don’t umm…don’t bother axing down the door, I’ll see myself out.
In the end, when an artist is determined to burn their work of art, even though the world loves it, but not for the reason he painted it, there is nothing one can do, but sit and watch it burn.
It’s still sad to see, though.
(1) – Ships killed last 24 hours, top ten most violent systems as per Dotlan: Null-sec: 1587, Low-sec: 1849, High-sec: 3515.
It’s all in the mind, you know.