He Did It! He Missed The Barn!

Now, before we begin, a qualifier. I am fully aware that tongue in cheek parody and some veiled sarcasm can be lost on those from the realms of outdated weights and measures, causing them to get rather offended at perfectly harmless jibes.

So I would like to point out that I am an avid reader of the writings of The Mittani; he is a rather eloquent writer, in his own way, whose knowledge of Eve Online is very evident by the success he enjoys within that game.

The post that sparked this particular train of thought is well worth every Eve player reading and CCP should print it in large letters and nail it to the door of Hilmar’s office. On the inside, where he will be forced to look at it often, because he can’t look out of his window and find any solace as there are no trees to look at.


The title is an old quote, from a very old movie. It is, however, the first thing I thought of after reading the latest post from the King of Space himself.

Not the first point, I agree with that completely and well said sir; CCP is a company with the business acumen of a chimpanzee. They are sitting on a gold mine, shooting any potential gold miners as they arrive at the door and wondering why said hole in the ground is not being very forthcoming with the shiny goodies.

No, it’s his second point that’s as inaccurate as a twelve gauge shotgun at a thousand meters (that’s a long way, for our American readers).

To quote:

“Except that hisec corporations are skittish about letting ‘new players’ join because of hisec awoxing: griefers such as my own space-tribe joining a corporation and then murderzoning the membership through a loophole in Concord enforcement – you can join a corp and attack anyone in your own corporation, even in hisec.”

Now, having given my spellchecker and my own literary conscience a good spanking by quoting that verbatim, let’s just analyze this a bit, shall we?

As is almost always the case with his “News” site, and the other one that is basically the same but with even less proofreading, there is far more entertainment and information to be found in the comments than in the articles themselves.

In the comments, the reason Mittens missed the barn is pretty evident. It was immediately obvious to me  as well, though because the dear boy is as far removed from the issues of a new player as an Icelander is from a forest it’s not surprising that the nub of the problem largely eluded him.

He argues that the reason for the loss of players during the transition from NPC corp to player corp is due mainly to the security paranoia of high sec corps caused by awoxers.

Sorry old boy, but that is rather umm…well, wrong.

It’s not surprising he has this pretty myopic view, of course. As he has a background of immersion in the murky world of infiltrators/thief/awoxer type game-play, as is the case with most people of that nature, he simply has a very inflated view of their relevance.

Every high sec corp I have been involved in has had at least one experience with some form of griefing, but the awoxers were vanishingly rare. Awoxers are an issue of far more significance in null-sec, where the really shiny ships are.

Indeed, any awoxer, or even a corp thief for that matter, operating in high sec outside of incursion running corps is an amateur, to be frank. Also, I really don’t think incursion fleets are something for new players to worry about, do you?

No, awoxers are after expensive ships, really expensive ships, and no blingy mission runner in high sec worth his salt is going to be in anything but his own private corp, far away from any possible griefer play.

Until he gets himself suicide ganked, but that’s another issue altogether.

The need for good, well structured high sec corps to instruct new players is dire, and Mittens nailed that point. New players need somewhere to go after doing the admittedly bad training missions.

Only the very rare ones make it into a player run corp that keeps them in-game, the vast majority of long-term players end up in NPC high sec corps, where they play, often infrequently, on their own.

So, what is the real problem for high sec training corps?

War declarations, what else?

When I was pondering my future direction in Eve, I toyed with the idea of starting a training corp in high sec. However, every time I ran the process through my mind, I struck upon the same point, “What do we do about war decs?”

Now, don’t you DARE say target corps should fight the war deccers and stop being risk averse, don’t you flipping DARE!

Of all the risk averse people in Eve Online, high sec war deccers are the worst offenders, the very WORST!

They are not valid targets for PVP in any way, shape or form. Neutral rep alts, station games, cloakies, neutral spotter alts and every other trick in the book you care to name make sure that the high sec corp full of new players that has been made the target of this particular piece of systematized griefing has literally no chance to reply to what is usually a staggering set of losses whenever they un-dock.

Then CCP, in their tree deprived wisdom, goes and makes a mechanic to prevent war shedding so that these same war deccers don’t accidentally find themselves in a war with people who actually want to  fight them and are capable of doing so.

No, sorry Mittens old boy, war deccers are the true reason for CCP enjoying their abysmal retention rate, not awoxers.

If you were blowing smoke, then bravo! Good job. But if you thought you were addressing the major problem for high sec corps, then you really did miss the barn.

And CCP, if you would like to see some actual gold coming out of them thar hills, don’t fix war dec mechanics, your record for fixing thing is downright laughable. No, just get rid of the damn thing altogether for high sec corps.

Yes, that’s what I said, you heard me, no ability to war dec other corps in high sec at all. Then, when you finally find someone with an IQ larger than their shoe size who has a natural aversion to trees, no sense of smell and who agrees to work for under award wages, you can get them to re-invent war declarations for high sec in a way that protects new player training corps.

In the meantime, with high sec war deccers gone, corps like my own will happily create high sec training corps specifically to encourage players to prepare to move to null-sec.

Maybe wormhole corps would do the same, perhaps other corps from other areas might think about it, too. Until you do this, however, you will get no help from us.

CCP is the problem with Eve Online being a huge success, the kind of success it deserves to be. They are sitting on a literal gold mine, but because the idiots have convinced themselves that the world is full of basement dwelling, nose picking, Doritos scoffing unemployed griefer gamers, they have literally blown both of their own feet off.

Here it is in plain English: CCP, there are far more decent people on the Earth playing computer games than the whiny, vocal minority of wankers that you morons insist on pandering to.

Your game has the potential to be Earth shatteringly awesome, fix it.

It’s all in the mind, you know.


2 responses to “He Did It! He Missed The Barn!

  1. Personally I worry more about awoxers than War Decs when I’m in a general player corp. A War Dec you can plan and react too – where as there is often little defence against an awoxer. I generally think the idea of a safe newbie zone, stopping hi-sec awoxing, and CCP really, really concentrating on the NPE would all be good things for the game.


    • I understand the concern over awoxing, but as a recruiter myself, it’s really down to the security of the corps recruiting.
      Honestly, high sec corps just don’t warrant high quality awoxer attention, especially corps that are noob friendly.
      Therefore, a full API check and a TS3 chat should be all that’s required to keep those corps generally awoxer free.
      However, the simple fix that Mittens suggested, to make corp member to corp member aggression illegal, would work.
      I just can’t see the awoxing thing as a huge threat to noob friendly corps.
      I have seen many potentially good corps ground to a halt by wardecs, though.
      All too often, because corp leaderships don’t understand that there is little to nothing you can do to defend yourself during a wardec.
      It’s not that wardecs shouldn’t happen, they just need to remove them, at least from high sec, fix them and reinstall them.
      Maybe make it so that corps under a certain membership cap can’t be wardecced, or something like that.


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