Warfare Isn’t (fair)

I would like you to imagine the following personal convo between the Duke of Wellington and Napoleon subsequent to Napoleon’s defeat at Waterloo:

Wellington: GF.

Napoleon: Ghey.

Wellington: What the hell do you mean, ghey?!

Napoleon: Anybody can win using Prussians, you fag. Real PVP’ers don’t use Prussians.

Wellington: Hey, they’re part of the Seventh Coalition…

Napoleon: Yeah, soon as I got CEO of France you losers go and form a coalition against me. The world doesn’t actually even have a coalition mechanic, so, yeah, blobbers.

Wellington: Come on Boney baby, it was a close fight, you nearly had us at one point.

Napoleon: What a load of crap. You stayed POS’ed up on the Mont-Saint-Jean escarpment until your Prussian blues came and took out my right flank. Cowards!

Wellington: Don’t be such a sore loser, just let Maitland pod you back to St Helena and you can rebuild, St Helena’s not a bad part of low sec.


It doesn’t really accurately capture that pivotal point in European history very well, does it?

There’s a good reason for that, too; because nobody cries unfair in a real war. Both sides of any fight, from a bar room brawl to Vietnam and beyond, use whatever comes to hand to take the other side down and thus win.

No holds barred, no referee, no ropes or ring, no rounds and no coaches with towels in the corner. It’s not a game, it’s not for the opportunity of wearing a ridiculous belt, it’s war, pure and simple.

Sometimes, I think Eve players struggle with this. In a game like World of Tanks, both sides are carefully chosen by a matchmaker, so that at the start of the battle everything is nice and even, or supposedly, at least.

Eve Online is not like that at all. Eve Online is a war game and a space sim, pure and simple. In war, anything that reality permits, goes.

The Geneva Convention has been used as toilet paper so many times it’s ludicrous, so don’t even bother with that argument.

So, if war in real life is only bound by reality, war in Eve Online is only bound by game mechanics. If we are to play it any other way, we’re trying to make an arcade game out of a space simulator, aren’t we?

What is pretty mind-blowing to me is how many gankers we get coming through our rented space, who, when we kill them, call us names for not ‘playing fair’.

Hold on a minute there mate, you come up here looking to kill ratting ships and mining ships with interceptors, cloaky T3’s and HAC’s, don’t you?

Now, if you manage to kill an unarmed mining ship, or a ratting ship with no PVP mods and a hole in their resists you could fly a carrier through, or an unarmed hauler, that’s a GF to you, yeah?

So, if we bait you in your Crow into attacking a lone frigate on a gate and then kill you by de-cloaking a Falcon, Arazu and Rapier, is that not also a GF? What’s good for the goose and all that jazz.

I personally am just about finished training Blast up to have all jamming skills at 5, so when I un-dock to catch someone in our space, it is interminably in a Falcon.

Straight away, that roaming T3 is in tears when he attacks the bait Procurer and it points him, with me de-cloaking and ensuring that he stays pointed and jammed until the DPS un-docks and arrives to finish him off.

“ECM fag! You guys suck at Eve!” Oh, the ranting, the name calling, the humanity!

Sorry, sunshine, if the game mechanics permit it, we do it. Roaming interceptor gang? Spotted four jumps out and all viable targets docked, our space now filled with neut Armageddons, smart bomb BS’es and our own interceptors.

Unless there’s not enough of us to ensure a win, in which case everyone is docked up and see ya later, sport.

Naturally, this doesn’t always happen, half of the time, there’s someone mining away, not on comms, not in fleet and tabbed out of the game doing something else entirely. Then the bad guys win.

We don’t sympathise with the loser, and we most certainly don’t complain that it was an unfair fight. It’s just what happens when you aren’t playing the game with the due caution that null-sec has always deserved.

We don’t join the pantheon of complainants who whine continuously about cloaky campers, either. Even the most persistent of them lose as much as they kill and eventually bugger off elsewhere.

When our systems are camped, most mining ships on their own are bait, with insta-point bombers and the inevitable Falcon cloaked up next to them.

Most ratting ships have at least their resist hole plugged, if not a boosted faction long point to stuff things up for Mr I’m not there or am I.

There’s a chance they’ll get a kill, and there’s a chance they’ll be killed, just like in any real life war.

We have a corp courier service and an alliance courier service, both bringing stuff from Jita to one of our stations for us whenever required. However, not everyone shows due caution and avoids high-sec like the plague, so we still lose ships to poor old Glevon and the war deccers.

We don’t complain, though, it’s just Eve. Nobody should complain, really; not up here. There’s no law, there’s no Concorde, there’s just us and our common sense or subsequent lack thereof, earning the rewards or the punishments we rightfully deserve.

Too often, in my book, people complain when there’s nothing to complain about.

Come on, Eve Online is a fascinating game, with real loss and real consequences, nothing sugar-coated and handed to us on a plate like so many other games.

Everyone credits the reality of losses as the reason why they keep coming back, but I’m not so sure about that anymore.

I think it’s got more to do with the lack of any unreality towards warfare, war in Eve is total war and nothing less.

No one should complain about someone “blobbing” or “cheating” in Eve. CFC, PL and N3 are simply playing the game as the game permits and they have been successful at setting up entities which are not easily destroyed. Be honest, if you were them, wouldn’t you?

Jumping up and down, protesting at the staleness of null-sec, the unfairness of coalition mechanics, the cheating of cloaky campers and the rottenness of gankers is largely a waste of time. Maybe CCP will change things up, then everyone will quickly adjust and get on with it and there will be a whole new round of complainants.

Play the game, any way you can and any way you like. If it allows you to do it, it’s completely fair. If anyone complains, shoot them.

It’s all in the mind, you know.



One response to “Warfare Isn’t (fair)

  1. It is ok for a pirate / ganker to attack defenceless or weak targets – but apparently entirely inappropriate for that target to defend themselves with ECM. I genuinely laugh at the irony of the tears.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s